不負(fù)自己,不負(fù)歲月,不負(fù)枉此生,微笑前行。
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昨天在地鐵上,看見一個(gè)穿著藍(lán)色工裝的中年男人。他靠在車廂角落,閉著眼睛,臉上滿是疲憊。手機(jī)屏幕亮著,是他女兒發(fā)來的語(yǔ)音:"爸爸你什么時(shí)候回來呀,我想你了。"他沒有回復(fù),只是嘴角微微上揚(yáng),然后繼續(xù)閉目養(yǎng)神。那一刻我突然明白,所謂的不負(fù)此生,不過就是在生活的重壓下,依然選擇笑著往前走。這個(gè)世界上,沒有誰(shuí)的人生是容易的。我認(rèn)識(shí)一個(gè)姑娘叫阿雨,三十歲那年被公司裁員。拿著遣散費(fèi)的那天晚上,她一個(gè)人在出租屋里哭到天亮。第二天早上,她擦干眼淚,開始投簡(jiǎn)歷。連續(xù)面試了二十多家公司,要么嫌她年紀(jì)大,要么嫌她經(jīng)驗(yàn)不匹配。最難的時(shí)候,她連房租都快交不起了。但她從來沒在朋友圈抱怨過一句。每次發(fā)的都是"今天天氣真好"、"路邊的花開了"這樣的話。后來她跟我說:"生活已經(jīng)夠苦了,我不想把負(fù)能量傳遞給別人,也不想讓自己越陷越深。"現(xiàn)在的阿雨,開了一家小小的花店。雖然賺得不多,但每天笑容滿面。她說,那段最難的日子教會(huì)了她,人啊,得學(xué)會(huì)跟自己和解。
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不負(fù)自己,就是在跌倒之后,依然有勇氣重新站起來。我見過太多人活得很累。累的不是工作有多辛苦,而是心里裝了太多不該裝的東西。別人的眼光、世俗的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)、過去的錯(cuò)誤,這些東西像一座座大山,壓得人喘不過氣來。我有個(gè)發(fā)小叫志強(qiáng),從小成績(jī)就不好。家里人總拿他跟別人家的孩子比,說他沒出息。長(zhǎng)大后他開了個(gè)修車鋪,雖然日子過得不錯(cuò),但總覺得抬不起頭。每次同學(xué)聚會(huì),別人聊的是項(xiàng)目、是投資,他就坐在角落里不說話。有一次喝多了,他問我:"你說我這輩子是不是挺失敗的?"我說:"你養(yǎng)活了一家四口,兒子健康快樂,老婆溫柔賢惠,這難道不是成功?"他愣住了。其實(shí)很多時(shí)候,我們活得不快樂,不是因?yàn)閾碛械锰伲且驗(yàn)榭偠⒅约簺]有的東西。學(xué)會(huì)欣賞自己的人生,才是對(duì)自己最大的溫柔。
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不負(fù)歲月,不是要活得多么轟轟烈烈,而是讓每一天都過得有滋有味。樓下住著一對(duì)老夫妻,八十多歲了。每天傍晚都能看見他們手牽手在小區(qū)里散步。老爺爺走得慢,老奶奶就放慢腳步等他。兩個(gè)人偶爾說說話,更多時(shí)候就是安靜地走著。有次在電梯里遇見老奶奶,我忍不住問她:"您跟老伴這么多年,有什么秘訣嗎?"她笑著說:"哪有什么秘訣,就是好好過每一天唄。年輕時(shí)候吵過架,也想過分開,但后來想想,能一起慢慢變老,就是最大的幸福了。"是啊,歲月很長(zhǎng),長(zhǎng)到可以把所有的棱角都磨平;歲月也很短,短到一轉(zhuǎn)眼就白了頭。與其在計(jì)較和抱怨中虛度光陰,不如珍惜眼前的每分每秒。做頓可口的飯菜,看場(chǎng)喜歡的電影,陪家人聊聊天,這些看似平常的小事,才是歲月給我們最好的禮物。
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微笑前行,不是要你假裝堅(jiān)強(qiáng),而是學(xué)會(huì)在苦難中找到希望。我曾經(jīng)采訪過一位癌癥康復(fù)者。她告訴我,確診那天,她覺得天都塌了。化療的時(shí)候,頭發(fā)一把一把地掉,照鏡子都不認(rèn)識(shí)自己。"那段時(shí)間你是怎么熬過來的?"我問。她說:"每天早上醒來,我都告訴自己,今天又是新的一天。窗外的陽(yáng)光那么好,我還能呼吸,還能看見家人,這就夠了。"現(xiàn)在的她,每天堅(jiān)持晨跑,還學(xué)會(huì)了畫畫。她說生了一場(chǎng)大病才明白,能好好活著,本身就是一種幸運(yùn)。生活確實(shí)會(huì)給我們出很多難題,但同時(shí)也會(huì)給我們繼續(xù)走下去的理由。孩子的笑臉、愛人的擁抱、朋友的關(guān)心、路邊的野花,這些細(xì)小的美好,都值得我們微笑以對(duì)。
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所謂不負(fù)此生,不過就是認(rèn)真對(duì)待每一個(gè)當(dāng)下。別總想著等有錢了再去做想做的事,別總覺得等有時(shí)間了再去陪家人。生命很脆弱,誰(shuí)也不知道明天和意外哪個(gè)先來。想吃的美食就去吃,想見的人就去見,想說的話就大聲說出來。別讓太多的"等以后"變成永遠(yuǎn)的遺憾。對(duì)自己好一點(diǎn),累了就休息,委屈了就哭出來,開心了就放聲笑。你的人生,不需要活成別人期待的樣子。對(duì)身邊的人溫柔一些,多一些理解,少一些計(jì)較。能陪你走一程的人不多,且行且珍惜。這一生很長(zhǎng),長(zhǎng)到足夠你去體驗(yàn)種酸甜苦辣;這一生也很短,短到不夠你去浪費(fèi)在無謂的糾結(jié)上。既然來這世上走一遭,就讓自己活得值得。不為難自己,不辜負(fù)時(shí)光,用心感受生活的每一種滋味。無論前方的路有多難,都記得給自己一個(gè)微笑。因?yàn)槟阒档脫碛兴械拿篮茫才涞蒙细玫奈磥怼?/p>
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