莫名堂觀察：已婚婦女還要從夫姓嗎？

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加拿大英文教練（原溫哥華英文教練），致力于地道英文表達

在我們的印象中，西方婦女在婚后會把自己的姓改成夫姓。如今，女權(quán)運動已經(jīng)蔚然成風(fēng)，那么，今天的婦女婚后還會改自己的姓嗎？

先來看一組調(diào)查In the US, most women adopt their husband’s family name when they get married – around 70%, according to one of the largest data analyses in recent years. For British women, the figure is almost 90%, according to a 2016 survey, with around 85% of those aged between 18 and 30 saying they still follow the practice. Although these figures are lower than they were a generation ago, it’s clear it remains a strong cultural norm in large parts of the western world, despite today’s more individualistic and gender aware era.. While definitions of feminism vary, 68% of women under 30 describe themselves as feminists in the US and around 60% in the UK.

這一段的大意是，雖然和以前相比情況有了一些變化，但今天的美國婦女婚后仍有70%，英國婦女有90%會從夫姓。這組數(shù)字是在有68%的美國30歲以下的婦女宣稱自己是女權(quán)主義者的背景下出現(xiàn)的。（在英國的同年齡組，這個比例是60%。）

換句話來解讀：即使今天過半數(shù)的英美年輕婦女宣稱自己是女權(quán)主義者，也不影響她們婚后從夫姓。

把目光放寬一點，看看歐洲的情況。Much of western Europe also follows the same pattern (notable exceptions include Spain and Iceland, where women tend to keep their birth names when they marry, and Greece, which has made it a legal requirement for wives to retain their names for life since 1983). Even in Norway, which is regularly ranked one of the top countries for gender equality and has a less overtly patriarchal history, the majority of married women still take their husband’s name. There, however, around half of name-takers keep their maiden name as a middle name, which functions as a secondary surname. 在歐洲，除了西班牙、冰島和希臘，其余的國家的婦女大多婚后從夫姓。即使在最強調(diào)男女平等的挪威，這個比例也超過一半。也有一種變通做法，即從夫姓的同時，仍保留婚前姓氏，即把娘家姓做為第二姓。

對于反對從夫姓的人來說，從夫姓等于把婦女視作男人的財產(chǎn)……男人“擁有女人”……這一切積習(xí)已久……會讓夫權(quán)成為一種默認設(shè)置，丈夫依然高高在上、當家作主（that a woman, on marriage, became one of the man’s possessions…“owning” wives… “entrenched” in most English-speaking countries… It perpetuates the idea that the husband’s in authority... reproducing the tradition that the man is the head of the household）雖然沒有法律規(guī)定女人婚后必須從夫姓（ there is currently no legal requirement to take a man’s name）。

從夫姓，歷來被看成是父權(quán)社會的習(xí)慣（patriarchal history）。那為什么在父權(quán)、夫權(quán)日漸式微的情況下，仍有多少人對此“依依不舍”？我們來看幾種解釋：

一種女人認為，從夫姓是一種無害的傳統(tǒng)（just a harmless tradition），而且夫妻二人共有一姓，將來的孩子（們）也用這一姓，會讓一家人有共同的承諾，有助于增加家庭成員彼此緊密的聯(lián)系（the sense that having the same name as your partner symbolises commitment, and this ties you and any potential children together as a unit.）即使這確實帶著父權(quán)社會的印跡，但是也是一種傳承……父親將女兒交到未來的女婿手上，后者前來求婚……這形成了最佳的“婚姻組合包”中的一個部分（fathers giving away brides and men being more likely to propose... these elements have come to form part of the optimum “marriage package” for many couples. ）對一些婦女來說，這與婚禮一樣，會加強她們和自己夫君的緊密聯(lián)系(deeper bond)。

另外一種堅持從夫姓的理由與社會公共觀感有關(guān)：夫妻二人共一姓，是堅守一個社會的承諾和彼此一致來面對外部世界。The second core trend observed by Duncan’s team is more about public perceptions. They concluded that taking on a partner’s name remains seen as a way to display your commitment and unity to the outside world. 有人說，“我覺得這是我們做為一個家庭的共同身份，我們是一個整體，我們就是我們自己……至于我們個人，可以保留我們的名和娘家姓做為中間名”“I feel like it gives us an identity as a family and not just individuals,” agrees Lindsey Evans in California. “We have our own first and middle names, which make us our own people, but having a joint last name makes us more of a unit.” 另外，婚姻也意味著分享，既然二人可以分享一切，那么分享姓名有何不可？（We talked about it beforehand and decided that because we shared everything else in our lives it made sense to share names too）

研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，有了孩子以后，婦女更加傾向改成夫姓，如果剛開始她們還沒有改的話。有了孩子，夫妻二人會更加緊密，今后帶著孩子四處旅行的時候，也會避免姓氏不同帶來的各種麻煩。孩子大了以后發(fā)現(xiàn)父母有各自不同姓，對孩子來說，也是一種困惑，在學(xué)校里，免不了要做一番解釋（Tony點評：這一點對中國孩子來說應(yīng)該不成問題，因為中國就沒有這個傳統(tǒng)。但我們中國人沒有這個傳統(tǒng)，不等于說我們可以隨意揣測西方人的社會心理。）

針對前面提到的從夫姓會強化夫權(quán)父權(quán)的思想，也有女性說，從夫姓不過是個傳統(tǒng)，我改了姓，并不意味著如果我在家庭中有不同意見我就只能忍氣吞聲，我該發(fā)聲的，依然會（ it's just nice tradition and it doesn't really mean anything’, and I disagree.）反對從夫姓的人不要太急于給別人下定論（ women who reject name-taking shouldn’t be too quick to judge others）一個女權(quán)主義者照樣可以向往花前月下的浪漫生活（ Even if those women are kind of identifying as a feminist, that kind of lifestyle that they're portraying is very much a sort of romantic ideal.）

許多婦女采取了這樣一種方法，即由自己來選擇是否從夫姓，而不是受迫于親朋，也不受制于自己的夫君，跟夫權(quán)父權(quán)社會無涉，也談不上依從傳統(tǒng)或離經(jīng)叛道（they can decide what name they’d like rather than it being forced on them by their partner or society, it shouldn’t matter whether that is in keeping with, or going against, patriarchal norms. ）

一種有意思的傾向是，既然女性可以從夫姓，男性為何不可從妻姓？上面說的那些贊同分享姓名的理由，如果用在男性身上，其實也適用，所以現(xiàn)在，大老爺們隨妻姓也不稀奇。

總的來說，婚后跟誰姓，對大多數(shù)西方婦女來說并不是個大問題，只要不預(yù)設(shè)前提，不先入為主，以開放式的態(tài)度來討論這些現(xiàn)實和傳統(tǒng)問題，都是可行的。況且，現(xiàn)在女權(quán)運動還有許多不平等問題的仗要打，比如男女同工同酬，所以，也有人主張把跟誰姓這類問題押后再談。（It’s time for this to become an open-ended discussion within partnerships, and not something that is assumed or pre-determined.）